Oliver Wants You to Know He Is Exceptionally Skeptical and Doesn't Believe Much of Anything But Can Carry a Whole Lot.
I'm Oliver and you are full of it. How do I know? Your mouth is moving. I'm exceptionally skeptical.
However, be that as it may, and other such transitional phrases, I am an open book. Actually, I'm an open bag. I have a sizable bag area and an somewhat smaller but just as useful zippered pocket inside.
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I'm Practically Useful! I'm Usefully Practical!
You can just about put anything inside there. You have a wallet? Done. You have a flask of Crown Royal? Yes, I can just about fit that. In fact, I can probably fit two flasks or one pint bottle. I don't know what your plans are, but I can also handle fruit, vegetables, and several pens.
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A Banana Lengthwise? That Wasn't Even Hard.
These are just high-level concepts in this space race we're running here. Space as in physical space, not like astronauts. Whatever your needs are, it is likely that I can assist you in carrying stuff while expressing a great disdain for the less than plausible things people are always coming to you with.
I just simply refuse to believe them.