Looking Like You Own The Place Is Good Advice If You Aren't At McDonalds
Ted: Hey Theo, do you see what I am seeing?
Theodore: ....
Ted: Theo. Wake up Theo.
Theodore: ...What is it Ted?
Ted: Take a look at this thing I'm looking at.
Theodore: What Ted. All I see is a guy.
Ted: Yes, I, too, see a man. But look at what he is wearing.
Theodore: Well, lets see. Hes got a hat on, one of those backwards ballcap wearing guys, and a shirt. I bet it has something on it, like 'What Is It That You Do?' and on the back it has some smug 'Cause I Recycle' or something on it. Pre-faded, you know. Reversible. Ugh, Ted, I'm going back to sleep.
Ted: Theo. LOOK. Look at what is going on with his feet.
Theodore: Is he missing them or something? What could possibly have you all wound up like this. Oh...
Ted: Right? Look at THAT.
Theodore: Oh... that is weird.
Ted: Theo, why is he doing that?
Theodore: I don't know. When you want to wear sandals, you want freedom from having to wear a bunch of other stuff on your feet, like socks. When you wear socks, you are prepared to wear something that is inherently uncomfortable to wear, unlike sandals.
Ted: Sure sure sure, I get all of that. I mean, I've never really been a sandal fan, but this is like gazing into the abyss and having the abyss wear khaki shorts and one of those heat activated shirts from the 80's.
Theodore: This is almost criminal. If I were an aspiring fashion design whose primary influence was dystopian novels from the early 20th century I'd call this flopcrime.
Ted: If I were a 80's Southern rock band from Florida this single would be called Floppin' With Disaster.
Theodore: If we go back to sleep, maybe he'll shuffle back into a Shoe Carnival.